MY HERO!

Two Days. Two days at McCormick Place, costumed as Huggy Bear. Cute and cuddly on the outside, hot and sweaty on the inside. Every so often I'd escape into the bathroom to gulp some air and splash the perspiration off of my face. "Let me in," I pleaded as I gazed into the mirror. The eyes that looked back at me were the eyes of an interloper. I slowly blotted the beads of moisture from my face. My mask slid back into place as I was sucked back into the swirling sea of folks who swarmed the Convention Hall. My stint as purveyor of hugs was almost over.

Time and reality can become distorted when you get caught up in pretending. Oh, the promotional hugs were real enough, yet I had been pressed into a strange place, like a violet between the pages of the dictionary. Later, as I stood in the hotel room shower, I felt the water drum it's beat, lavished in it's ancient song. I was a shapechanger, merging back into myself, but with a new dimension. Huggy Bear had built my confidence, but the real test was now to come. How would it feel to enter that space forthwith, as a person? My insecurities, doubts, and anxieties taunted me, and I felt a surge of determination. I was as good as anyone else! "Dear God, be with me," I murmured as I pulled my clothes on.

Pushing through the glass doors, the change I sensed wasn't just with me. There was a winding down: Business had been accomplished and this was more or less the schmoozing hour, before the big push to pack em up and move em out. I searched the thinning crowd and found Jeremy, the sweet young boy who viewed the world from his own perspective. His hugs had been precious, and he was just as receptive to me, now, as he had been to Huggy Bear. His eyes spoke volumes as they sparkled at me, spoke more than the rest of us say with the voices we take for granted.

Suddenly a hush fell over the crowd. A whisper fanned over the room like a flame.

" Carey Grant... pst.pst.pst." "
"................HERE! ..psst ...psst ....psst.."
"...spokesperson for... pssst ... pssst... pssst..."

It was like the parting of the Red Sea. This was a splendid orchestration of public relations, complete with press. His entourage included a dozen of Chicago's Finest. These spiffy cops formed a circle around him, hands on hips, elbow to elbow like a water ballet. I looked past them, to a man who wore a costume every time he was in public.

"Excuse me," I murmured as I gently pushed past two beefy arms and slid into the circle. My heart was beating wildly. "Mr. Grant, I'd like to give you a hug." The crowd had closed in and was rapt in the moment. There he stood, bigger than life. My idol, my first crush. He took me in his arms and as he embraced me I felt reality click into place. Here was someone who had spent most of his life pretending. I felt a sadness in our hug.

As I unwrapped my arms, he tipped me back and stared into my eyes. Looking up at the crowd he drolled, "Isn't life grand?" Then, bending over me, he pressed his lips to mine. I was transported into the movies i'd grown up with. For a glimmer of a moment I became his Katherine Hepburn! As I slipped back into myself, back into the crowd, I heard a very young woman comment to her friend, "Who'd want to kiss HIM? He's OLD!!!" I smiled inwardly, and then I hunkered down next to Jeremy's wheelchair. "You're the best hugger here" I told him, tears flooding my eyes as we said our goodbyes. He threw himself into my arms, and hugged me for dear life. My Hero! ~finis~