A FRIEND IN NEED

My cell phone rings as I sit on the john at a 7-11. Don't ask! *Ring* is a misnomer, the phone plays a rousing rendition of something or other by John Phillip Sousa. Luckily this is one of those uni-stall bathrooms with a lock on the door, so our bifurcated conversation has no audience. I can tell from the caller ID that it is my delightful & beloved Goddess/wife Althea.

"Howie honey, I am just leaving the Fetish Mall." I picture her lush body wedged into her teensy car. The black leather seat, heated by the afternoon sun, nearly scorching her thighs as it caresses her tender flesh. I think I grunt softly. "I just ran into Larry at Whips-R-Us" she continues.

Her voice has that throaty Lauren Bacall quality to it. Sultry. I hear her start the car, and I sense her attention shifting to the traffic around her as she pulls into it deftly. I hate it when she drives & talks, but I know better than to criticize. "Are you wearing underwear?" I blurt out without thinking. My mind is still on the hot leather beneath her heavenly bottom, enviously so.

"HOWIE!!!!" she screeches into my ear. "I'm trying to tell you something important!" I hear her inhale deeply, and I know she is smoking. I won't say anything though; I am better off pretending I do not know about her secret vices. "I don't like the way Larry is behaving" she continues. "I am afraid he will do something drastic. This divorce is taking a terrible toll on him, and it's barely begun."

We met Larry & Darlene at a local Bondage Munch, and had subsequently gotten to know them better at a private play party. From that point on, we became best of friends and did practically everything together. The funny thing is, Larry presented himself as Dominant, even though it was obvious to us that she wore the pants in the family. Complicated power issues are not uncommon within alternative lifestyles however, and nobody gave it a second thought.

Then Darlene announced one night that she had found a slave who made her happy, and that she no longer wished to submit to Larry. Poor sap. We all saw it coming a mile away, but he didn't want to face it. Instead of working things out together, they sort of erupted into a big damaged mess. Now, his attourney and her attourney are having a blast tossing hot potatoes back & forth.

"Ironically, they are fighting over their TOYS. Not the house, not the furniture, not even the pets." She inhales again. "He was at Whips-R-Us, trying to find a duplicate of that gorgeous nine tailed braided number they both like so well." I'd had the pleasure of feeling the biting lash of that very flogger across my shoulders & buttocks on several occasions, and I could understand why neither of them wanted to give it up. "Anyhow, I invited him to dinner. Pick up a bottle of Speyburn, we're out."

"May I also buy a couple of Partagas?" I venture hopefully. At $8.95 apiece, I'm not often allowed to indulge. She had convinced the neighborhood liquor store to stock them for me, for those special occasions. Not that this was a special occasion. However, Larry enjoyed the spicy peppery smoke with faint cedar aftertones as much as I did, a perfect accompaniment to a premium single malt Scotch like Speyburn. "You know how much Larry loves a good cigar" I wheedle.

"Sure." she is distracted now, I can almost hear her mind ticking along at million miles an hour. "Listen, I want you to get the house spiffed up and make dinner. Everything you need is in the fridge, I left the recipe on the counter." It's a good thing domesticity is my forte. "I am stopping at the spa for a facial & massage, Larry will be there at six." I hear her shutting the car off and opening her door. "See you later!"

We may as well have served spaghettios. The pan of made-from-scratch lasagna I fussed over for hours is congealing, unserved, on the dining room table. The candles that hours earlier sent ethereal shimmers dancing over the polished walnut surface were now puddled rivulets of hardened wax, a testament to this abandoned feast. Larry had swum through two tumblers of Scotch, sans rocks, before nearly drowning in his own maudlin angst.

Luckily, the Goddess of the household has a solution for everything. Althea hauled Larry over her knee and gave him a good old-fashioned spanking. First he cried, then he howled, then his sobs subsided as her hands worked their magic. I'm sure you don't want to hear the details.

She listened while he spilled his heart. Then she gave him a piece of her mind, and plenty to think about. Later she handed him a beautiful hickory paddle, shaped like a heart. "Give this to Darlene. I've talked to her, and she is willing to take you back, on her terms. She will be here to pick you up in a few minutes."

Well, all's well that ends well. Larry followed Darlene out of here like an obedient & adoring puppy. I got to smoke two fine cigars as I sat out on the patio alone. Hey, it was a long night out here by myself, and when would I ever get a chance again to smoke TWO Partagas again?

Althea and Larry had been so caught up in the drama they never noticed. "Oh, hello dear..." I see she is still all worked up, her energy is supercharged. Her eyes speak volumes as they spark across the two fragrant butts reposing, spent, in the ashtray. "How may I please my lovely Goddess?"

~finis~