It started out as such a simple common sense good idea. Raise a handful of hogs for market. After all, they eat just about anything, and pretty much entertain themselves. Course, the bigger they got, the more they ate. And the more they ate, the bigger they got.
Well, working nights at the Jelly Factory offered up an opportunity that was too sweet to resist. Fifty five gallon drums filled to the brim with grape jelly. Free for the taking. What wasn't suitable for human consumption was surely fit for this kingdom of swine.
A glut of delectable preserves, hauled home in the back of the old Chevy pickup truck. Tipped into the feeding trough, glistening jewel-like in the sun. The scent was divine. Snouts quivered in anticipation. Talk about hog heaven!
They frolicked and cavorted, lapping up this sensational ambrosia. Hogwild. Not for a moment did they stop to consider that they were destined to become the sweetest hams on the planet. Night after night, an endless supply. Day after day, a perpetual sugar high.
In fact, you could say they were living high on the hog. They lurched about, sloshing syrupy slop to and fro. They wallowed in it. Every fly in the county came to share the abundance. These porkers were oblivious. Up to their eyeballs in luscious goo.
Well, come Auction Day, they were plenty big. The truck was all fueled up and ready to go. Ma already had that money mostly spent, in her head, on new furniture. With great anticipation, Pa and Junior set out to hose em down and load em up.
Guess who had the last laugh. Not half the county, that's for dang sure. Those glorious purple pigs got a reprieve. Pa got all red in the face. He was fit to be hog-tied. Ma didn't dare look at him for the rest of the day for fear he'd remember it was her idiot idea in the first place. But oh, what a tale she'd spin for the girls tomorrow night at the plant. And that's no hogwash!
~finis~
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